If I had been at the mall.... I wouldn't have made my practice face debut!

Last week  I had the privilege of offering up my face for the make up artistry students at Cosmopolitan Makeup Artistry College.  Now, they use the term "model" but I really prefer "practice face."  I think it is more descriptive and accurate of what I brought to the table.  Friends, let me tell you, being a practice face is a LOT of fun.  And the only requirements, really, are that you are able to sit still (how'd I get this gig??) and that you have a face.  On the first day, I was with the outrageous and hilarious Emily, who created this fantasy themed look.  I wish I could wear sparkly jewels on my face everyday!

Notice the wolves wanted to be part of the fun!

Possibly my favourite part of all this was the photo shoot.  I promise you there is nothing that will ever make you feel more glamorous than having your picture taken under soft lightening and then having everyone tell you how awesome they turned out.  The wolves loved it, too.  

My second day was special effects day and I practice faced for Shannon, who was a total sweetheart  and super enthusiastic about creating an awesome zombie creature out of me.  She did an awesome job, in my opinion!! 
  

Look at those nasty teeth!

Yes, that's a finger in my mouth!

After almost five hours of prep, we went outside to do the photo shoot.  Now, I'm no actress and I'm really not that familiar with how zombies act, other than what I learned from many hours of Plants vs. Zombies so I really don't know how I did portraying the gory monster.  I haven't seen the real photos yet but I'm hoping they turned out well enough for Shannon's portfolio!  One of the shots the girls wanted was of me, chasing after the High Level Bridge Streetcar full of senior citizens and small children.  I'm sure I was very popular with parents at bedtime that night!

Do I look shorter as a zombie??  I feel like I look shorter....

Yep.  That happened.  But it never would've happened at the mall!

P.S.  Thanks Gaylynne for giving me the opportunity to share my mad practice face skillz with your students!!

If I had been at the mall.... I never would have realized what a bastard Sephora is!

Ooooooooh....  Sephora.  You. Are. THE DEVIL.  

I found this evil genius in my email yesterday.  How am I supposed to resist the offer of VIB Roooooouge status (for those of you that know me in real life, you realize we're going to be pronouncing it this way, right?)??  And a free, limited edition lipstick??  Come. ON!  It's like they know I've been away and they are trying to lure me back in.  Well, ok, I know that in reality everybody who spends a small fortune at Sephora probably got this but really, this is terrible, terrible timing.  Do you hear me Sephora??  TERRIBLE TIMING.  

Maybe I need to look at this another way.  Maybe I need to look at this like it's a controlling boyfriend trying to woo me back with hollow promises.  Sephora is trying to squash my new, independent lifestyle, with all my new, local loves.  It's jealous.  And a little drunk.  It's making crazy accusations about me and Lux sneaking around behind it's back.  It's not a secret, you douchebag!  I've been BLOGGING about my new experiences, for crying out loud!  I'm not hiding anything!  I'm just branching out and trying new things.  You know, maybe if you're going to get all insane and act this way we need to reconsider our relationship.  You can't just come over here, with your apologies and roooooouge status and think for a second that I'm just going to ditch my new friends and spend all my time exclusively with you.  Even if I happen to come back to the mall, there's still MAC.  And Shopper's.  I love you but you have to learn to share me!  Ugh, I can't do this anymore.  My friends are right about you.  I think we need a break.  Don't call me.  *Door slams*

I need a drink.

And this little bit of drama, ladies and gentlemen, would never have happened if I had been at the mall....

If I had been at the mall... I would never have met a squirrel reading a newspaper!

I wasn't really sure how I was going to follow up last week's inaugural post.  I mean, what can compare to meeting RICK MERCER??  And then I found him.  The inspiration to continue with the mall-fast.  I was weaving my way home from Tiramisu (124th Street and 108 Ave) last Thursday night after some fantastic food, wine and even better company, when I walked right up to this.

It's squirrel.  A giant, bronze-ish squirrel.   On a bench.  Reading a newspaper.  I love him.  There was a plaque next to him that I couldn't read so I went back a few days later with a designated reader, excited to find out what the back story was on this guy.  Maybe the house belonged to a novelist who wrote about a superhero squirrel the size of a toddler going on wild adventures and fighting crime!  Maybe it was a fraternity house whose members have passion for rodents and current events.  So many possibilities!  So we got there and the plaque says that this is a historical landmark and the former house of Dr. Somebody.  That's it???  No explanation whatsoever??  Not even a mention of the squirrel??  I decided I had no choice but to come up with my own explanation.  This week I received a gift from my employer for five years of dedicated service.  This was my gift: 

Wolfgang and Puck

It all came together for me.  If a tiny, plasticky, wolf figurine is what you get for five years of service in the public sector, a two foot metal squirrel on a bench must be what you get for 50 years!!  I absolutely cannot wait the 45 years it's going to take to get my platinum, giant tortoise looking in a mirror and applying lipstick on my front lawn!!  

Saturday I spent the afternoon with Katreenah Jewellery at the Downtown Market.  Katreenah is a gorgeous line of jewellery created by Katrina Petryshyn, a local designer and metal smith. I met Katrina  in five years ago in Turkey at our hostel's evening "spoon dancing" event.  Spoon dancing is apparently a Turkish custom where you dance with wooden spoons to an 80s dance mix with some Simon Says thrown in. Being that I never saw this "tradition" take place anywhere else in Turkey, I am still not sure it wasn't just an attempt by Ali and his brother (hostel owners) to entertain themselves with foolish tourists!  

Oh and the hats!  I completely forgot about the homemade shriners hats we had to wear!!  We all look like we're having fun, though, and if it weren't for that spoon dance I would never have met Katrina!  Right.  Back to the jewels.  So I spent the afternoon trying on many different pieces of jewellery at once and greeting market goers and even covered the booth while Katrina got lunch!  I was only in charge for about 8 minutes but it was long enough to make me feel extremely important.  I even made a sale!  Also of note, I bought cheese from a table two down from Katreenah Jewellery.  Best.  Cheese.  Ever.  Anyway, Katrina is a lovely, generous, talented woman and she makes absolutely beautiful things so please check out her website or her booth at the market!!

Yep.  Those are my boobs.  I'm trying to increase my readership...

The other amazing local business I got to experience last week was The Makeup Art Space.  I was looking for a mall-free girls night activity for my friend Jenny's birthday and the internet machine brought me to Gaylynne Fell, a makeup artist, business owner and creator of her own line of quality, safe and cruelty-free makeup. Gaylynne was super friendly, knowledgable and a lot of fun!  And her makeup... oh, the makeup.  It is incredible.  You know I would never lie to you about makeup.  Gaylynne's got the good stuff.  It's got the quality of high-end lines without all the nasty stuff that is often found in those cosmetics.  It's all made in Canada, cruelty-free and priced really reasonably.  When I started this challenge I was pretty sure I was going to need to check myself into rehab to deal with my beauty product jones-ing.  And then I met Gaylynne.  My own personal dealer.  She doesn't know it yet but she's probably going to have to meet me in back alleys at all hours of the night to sell me blush... When you're fixin' for a peachy-pink with a hint of shimmer, you've gotta do what you've gotta do.    

Wow, wild animal statues, jewels and a locally-sourced makeup.  It never would've happened at the mall!