I'm taking a course at the university right now where advocacy for people with disabilities is often a topic of discussion. This week the idea that people with disabilities should be given the means to ride public transit independently, came up, as opposed to using special transportation because it is segregating. It was all I could do not to start yelling, "Segregate me! Please, please, PLEASE segregate me!!" I did voice a similar, slightly calmer opinion, which, of course, was not well received by my less cynical classmates. Nobody seems to understand that riding the bus stinks (literally and figuratively). I would much prefer the segregation of a private driver... maybe one with an accent who says, "yes ma'am," a lot. And maybe, while we're advocating for me, let's see if we can't get me a butler, too...
Yesterday I was riding the bus downtown from West Edmonton Mall during rush hour. I've done this enough times to know that it wasn't going to be pleasant but if I could have predicted just how unpleasant it was going to be, I might've opted for a cab. The bus was full when I got on, except for 1 1/2 seats along the back row. Yes, one and a HALF. Why? Because one princess thought that she should sit in a way that allowed her the use of half of the seat next to her. Ok, I thought to myself, this'll work. Just sit on the seat next to the half seat and you will enjoy a spacious ride because nobody is going to try to sit in half a seat. So I sat down with the seat hog on my right and a guy on my left who, I quickly, realized had recently peed himself. Or been peed on. I don't know which but either way, I started to get a little emotional. You're ok, I thought to myself, just suck it up and sniff your wrist. This is the strategy I use when something (or someone) smells bad on the bus... I sniff my perfume. Sometimes I even bust out a roller ball and coat my upper lip in a little Armani. Anyway, as I'm sitting there, sniffing myself, trying not to cry, a woman decides that she is going to fit her rather large butt onto half a seat. Guess what? She didn't fit. And guess where she landed? ON ME. Sigh. Thank goodness I have this privilege of being fully included in society... because clearly society rocks!
But wait, I have a solution (I mean besides my own personal Jeeves) that should please everyone... let's make public transit more accessible for people with disabilities and LESS accessible for assholes!! Everybody wins!!
By the way, if you don't think think my experience was bad enough to warrant this rant, I'll tell you what my brother witnessed on the bus yesterday. A woman who spent the entire ride picking her nose and wiping boogers on the seat next to her. And then an unsuspecting man sit on said seat, totally oblivious to the vast amounts of snot that he now had all over his pants. GAG. Let's hear it for segregated transit!! One bus for people with disabilities and another one for assholes, nose-pickers and punks!!
