If I had been at the mall.... I wouldn't have been taking pictures of the bathroom!!

Last December, I bought myself a Groupon for a spa package.  I finally got around to booking an appointment, probably because I wasxn't in the mall.  Today I went for my Vanilla Breeze spa treatment at NVE Institute Phyto-aroma Cosmetology.  Honestly, I have no idea if "phyto-aroma cosmetology" is actually part of their name but that's what their website says.  I'm not going to lie... I was a little nervous and really skeptical, due to previous experiences with Groupons and even more so, previous experiences with body scrubs.  I'm not really sure what possessed me to even buy this package in the first place.  Let me give you a little background on why body scrubs terrify me... a few years ago my buddy Jen and I went to a conference in Banff.  We wanted to treat ourselves so we booked appointments at the spa at The Rimrock.  This was a fancy place with fancy prices so we had fancy expectations!  They didn't have room for both of us to do a facial so I booked myself for what I thought sounded like a delightful sugar body scrub.  It was winter.  It was cold.  My skin needed a good exfoliation.  I don't know what I thought that would entail exactly or whose body they'd be scrubbing but I sure was surprised when it turned out it was going to be MINE.  So, I went into this room that did not strike me as being spa-like at all.  There was no sounds of nature CD playing, no dim lighting, no flowers.  Just a shallow bathtub at the height of a massage table with a mat in it.  The waxing rooms at Merle Norman are more relaxing and inviting than this was and they play The Bounce.  So I will spare you the gory details but basically a guy in a smock scrubs your body with a sugar scrub and then rinses you down with a sprinkler/hose device that is mounted on the ceiling.  Kind of a cross between a carwash and a milking barn when they spray the manure off the cows.  Yep.  I paid $200 for that.  When I came out, Jen was sitting in the lounge looking completely relaxed and glowing from her facial and immediately said, "what's wrong??"  

Today's experience, however, was nothing like that... thank goodness.  Although my therapist probably would have appreciated it.... it would have taken countless sessions to sort that mess out!  NVE is located in a 100 year old house in Glenora.  It was super cute inside and the owner was friendly and gave me all kinds of background and information on the spa, their experience and philosophy.  The treatment room was cozy and very spa-like.  It reminded me a lot of the spas we went to in Asia.  It was dimly lit with a regular massage bed (no weird bathtub bed here!) and a gorgeous, fresh -cut flower on my robe. This was definitely a lot better than the farm-feel of the Rimrock! The treatment was so relaxing I felt like I was going to melt into the massage bed.  Like a Popsicle... or a witch.    

After my treatment I was served tea and fruit and enjoyed watching a bride and her wedding party getting their makeup done.  I'm not really sure how they felt about being the entertainment for the greased-up girl drinking tea but whatever!  After I had paid and was heading out, I asked about their products because that's what I do and the owner jumped to find me samples of their skin care line.  I was expecting little pots or sachets but he returned with four decent sized products!  A waterless cleaners, two toners and a day cream.  All their products are made with only a few ingredients and have been developed by the owners of the spa.  They are made in Montreal and have minimal packaging, which I love.  Have you ever bought something from NARS?  The packaging has packaging.  Ridiculous.  Anyway, at this point I was still kind of on the fence about whether or not I would return.  I always question if a spa treatment is really worth what it costs after I've done it and usually come up with a big, fat NO.  However, if there is one way to woo me, it's with free beauty products. I think this is a sign of a company that truly believes in it's product and knows that if people can give it a good try, they will come back for more.  I have to be honest.  I like my AHAs and hyluronic acid so I'm a bit skeptical but  I will give these a go and we'll see!  

And now I am going to RAVE about my new favourite food-related discovery.  Steeps is a local tea shop/cafe and it is absolutely wonderful!  Tea is my new thing so I was looking for a  place to buy loose-leaf tea that wasn't in  the mall.  The internet machine once again did not fail me and I found Steeps.  I popped in there a couple weeks ago on a rainy Tuesday when i had some time to kill for a nail appointment.  I knew exactly what I wanted and was very specific and quick about my purchase.  No, wait.  That's not me at all.  I was very vague with a "well, I'm looking for something lemony... maybe minty, you know.. something..."  The lovely ladies who worked there were very helpful and let me open pretty much every tin of tea and sniff it.  Then they helped me figure out what I wanted to drink while I pondered all my take-home options.  "I want something like a London Fog but not because I don't like Earl Grey..."  They hooked me up with a Market Spice latte and my life changed forever.  This is like... cinnamon heats in warm, sweet, latte-y goodness.  The other thing I loved about Steeps was the atmosphere.  It wasn't too busy like so many of the places on 124th and it was comfortable without looking like a grandma's living room.  It's funky without being too weird and I love it.  So today after my spa I decided to pop in to pick up something "gingery and lemony," as last time I had left with spicy and minty.  One of the ladies working was the same as my first visit and both were super friendly and informed me that..coming soon... they would be revealing Market Spice ICE CREAM.  Oh my gosh.  I can't wait.  I will be first in line, no doubt.  Ok, so while I was waiting for my latte today I popped into the bathroom, which, guess what?!  I loved.  That's right.  I loved their bathroom.  And I thought to myself, I need to take a picture of this bathroom to post on my blog!  So I did.  The whole time thinking, I wonder if they are going to wonder what is taking me so long?!  I hope they don't think I'm taking pictures of their bathroom!  Right.  Because the first thing I'm sure all cafe employees assume when someone is in the bathroom is that they are busting out their phones to document the experience.  However, due to my anxiety in this matter, I rushed and the pictures didn't turn out great.  But here you have it... the bathroom at Steeps in Old Glenora.

Yep.  That's a bathroom.  I'm trying to increase my readership.

I'm saving my scathing review of the "salmon stuff" I had for breakfast for a later post so there you have my morning.  Feeling like a creepy weirdo while taking pictures of a bathroom... It never would've happened at the mall!  

(Ok, you're right...it totally could've happened at the mall.  But it didn't!)

If I had been at the mall.... I wouldn't have met the creepiest balloon animal guy EVER.

It was nice and hot here today so Jimmy and I went downtown this afternoon to swim at City Hall.  We made friends with a four-year-old girl who kept asking if she could play games on my phone.  Um, no.  Why not??  Um... because I am using it at the moment??  Because we are surrounded by water and I just finally replaced my last water-damaged phone?? Because you're FOUR and I don't KNOW you??  Anyway...    We stopped for supper at The Works festival in Churchill Square, which had some interesting things going on.  There was live music and different art... things.  It all seemed pretty cool but I really can't give you any more detail beyond that soooo, yeah.  There was a really amazing carousel made out of shopping carts and the girls running it were really sweet to Jimmy.  However, again, I don't really get it...  But it looked like a LOT of fun.

Grocery Cart Carousel at The Works

So, as we were leaving, a balloon animal guy approached us.  He seemed harmless enough.  He was wearing the usual balloon guy balloon hat and carrying a plastic air pump with him.  He started talking to us so we stopped so he could make something for Jimmy.  He started pumping up a white baloon and said he was going to make an airplane.  Then he started saying things like, "You look like you're going to join the army some day!"  "Yep, I can tell... you're going to be an army guy."  I guess Jimmy's bucket hat was looking particularly military-esque.  He got to the stage of the airplane where the balloon looked like a cross and he said "Look Pastor, here's your cross!" and held it up, triumphantly. Jimmy just stared blankly at him.  I smiled hesitantly and moved closer to Jimmy.  My brother, who was with us, inched further and further away.  The guy kept jabbering away as he made the airplane and when it was done he went to hand it to Jimmy, got down on one knee and said "hey kid, I've seen a lot of guys die...."  Aaaaand, we're done here!  I gave the guy a Toonie and we booked it. Now, here's the thing; he clearly has issues that I suspect stemmed from military service of some sort.  And that really sucks.  But DUDE.  Maybe making balloon animals for CHILDREN isn't the job for you!!

So what I've learned from this experience is that I'm really grateful for what I have and that I haven't chosen a career that involves scaring children for money.  Wait a sec... oh crap....   Good thing today was the last day of school!!  

This self-actualizing moment never would have happened if I'd been at the mall....

If I had been at the mall... I would never have met a squirrel reading a newspaper!

I wasn't really sure how I was going to follow up last week's inaugural post.  I mean, what can compare to meeting RICK MERCER??  And then I found him.  The inspiration to continue with the mall-fast.  I was weaving my way home from Tiramisu (124th Street and 108 Ave) last Thursday night after some fantastic food, wine and even better company, when I walked right up to this.

It's squirrel.  A giant, bronze-ish squirrel.   On a bench.  Reading a newspaper.  I love him.  There was a plaque next to him that I couldn't read so I went back a few days later with a designated reader, excited to find out what the back story was on this guy.  Maybe the house belonged to a novelist who wrote about a superhero squirrel the size of a toddler going on wild adventures and fighting crime!  Maybe it was a fraternity house whose members have passion for rodents and current events.  So many possibilities!  So we got there and the plaque says that this is a historical landmark and the former house of Dr. Somebody.  That's it???  No explanation whatsoever??  Not even a mention of the squirrel??  I decided I had no choice but to come up with my own explanation.  This week I received a gift from my employer for five years of dedicated service.  This was my gift: 

Wolfgang and Puck

It all came together for me.  If a tiny, plasticky, wolf figurine is what you get for five years of service in the public sector, a two foot metal squirrel on a bench must be what you get for 50 years!!  I absolutely cannot wait the 45 years it's going to take to get my platinum, giant tortoise looking in a mirror and applying lipstick on my front lawn!!  

Saturday I spent the afternoon with Katreenah Jewellery at the Downtown Market.  Katreenah is a gorgeous line of jewellery created by Katrina Petryshyn, a local designer and metal smith. I met Katrina  in five years ago in Turkey at our hostel's evening "spoon dancing" event.  Spoon dancing is apparently a Turkish custom where you dance with wooden spoons to an 80s dance mix with some Simon Says thrown in. Being that I never saw this "tradition" take place anywhere else in Turkey, I am still not sure it wasn't just an attempt by Ali and his brother (hostel owners) to entertain themselves with foolish tourists!  

Oh and the hats!  I completely forgot about the homemade shriners hats we had to wear!!  We all look like we're having fun, though, and if it weren't for that spoon dance I would never have met Katrina!  Right.  Back to the jewels.  So I spent the afternoon trying on many different pieces of jewellery at once and greeting market goers and even covered the booth while Katrina got lunch!  I was only in charge for about 8 minutes but it was long enough to make me feel extremely important.  I even made a sale!  Also of note, I bought cheese from a table two down from Katreenah Jewellery.  Best.  Cheese.  Ever.  Anyway, Katrina is a lovely, generous, talented woman and she makes absolutely beautiful things so please check out her website or her booth at the market!!

Yep.  Those are my boobs.  I'm trying to increase my readership...

The other amazing local business I got to experience last week was The Makeup Art Space.  I was looking for a mall-free girls night activity for my friend Jenny's birthday and the internet machine brought me to Gaylynne Fell, a makeup artist, business owner and creator of her own line of quality, safe and cruelty-free makeup. Gaylynne was super friendly, knowledgable and a lot of fun!  And her makeup... oh, the makeup.  It is incredible.  You know I would never lie to you about makeup.  Gaylynne's got the good stuff.  It's got the quality of high-end lines without all the nasty stuff that is often found in those cosmetics.  It's all made in Canada, cruelty-free and priced really reasonably.  When I started this challenge I was pretty sure I was going to need to check myself into rehab to deal with my beauty product jones-ing.  And then I met Gaylynne.  My own personal dealer.  She doesn't know it yet but she's probably going to have to meet me in back alleys at all hours of the night to sell me blush... When you're fixin' for a peachy-pink with a hint of shimmer, you've gotta do what you've gotta do.    

Wow, wild animal statues, jewels and a locally-sourced makeup.  It never would've happened at the mall!  

If I had been at the mall... I wouldn't have met RICK MERCER!!!

I started the "mall fast" last Monday, apparently with some underlying anxiety.  On Sunday night I dreamed I was in the mall and I couldn't get out and I wasn't supposed to be shopping and I didn't know what to do with myself.  Apparently my psyche was nervous about this endeavour...

On Thursday, I had to visit the Rogers store in WEM... and then the Rogers store in Kingsway as part of the ongoing saga of "water-damage-gate" (clever, no??).  As I cut through The Bay in Kingsway I found myself eyeing the fur trader blankets and Canada sweatshirts and thinking maybe I needed them.  Really??  Three days without the mall and I've suddenly lost all sense of fashion and home decor??  I think I need to spend some time reflecting on how I've trained my brain to sort out wants, needs, and NOBODY needs.  

The highlight of the mall fast for the week happened today when I dragged Jimmy to the Downtown Farmer's Market.  It was cool and rainy today and there is no doubt in my mind that had I not imposed this challenge on myself, we would have ended up at a mall for the afternoon.  The first challenge was to find me a new card holder for my CNIB card/bus pass.  I lost the old one in the old card holder on Monday and I have been super paranoid all week about losing the new card.  Not that having a cardholder prevented me from losing the first card (twice) but it does make it a lot easier to dig out of my purse.  After some mini donuts and a discussion with the flax seed guy (Random tip for the blind: Don't assume that the flax seed guy is the honey guy and start telling him about how you forgot to check if you needed honey.  You'll feel awkward and weird and end up buying flax seed that you didn't need).  Jimmy picked out this beauty for me and I have to say, I couldn't have done a better job myself! Purple sparkles and tear drop/leafy shapes....

After the market we headed to the library so Jimmy could play for a bit.  We got there just in time to watch a librarian setting up mats for the 2:00 story time.  Great!  I love pre-arranged activities that I don't have to think up!  So the librarian set up the mats and a big chair and then the camera crews started setting up.  Wait... cameras??  That seemed weird to me but whatever.  Then I started hearing library staff buzzing about how awesome this was going to be and "Rick this" and "Rick that."  Maybe a local celebrity was here to read today's story?  Whatever... At 2:00 a regular, run of the mill Edmonton Public Library guy started singing a song about going to the moon and I settled back to cruise Facebook.  Turns out this guy was just the opening act.  He asked all the kids to welcome his friend Rick!  I didn't recognize the guy and went back to my phone.  As I was listening to him read, I was trying to place his voice..it was so familiar.  I kept trying to think of local CBC radio guys whose names were Rick and coming up with nothing.  Then all of the sudden I went, "HOLY SHIT!  That's RICK MERCER!!"  Thankfully it was in my head.  I didn't know what to do next.  Start taking pictures??  Post it on FB??  Try to find a better place to stand since he had his back to me and I was never going to get a decent picture to put on FB if I didn't move!  Then I realized I needed a picture of Jimmy, listening to a story being read by RICK MERCER!!!  By then it was too late and the story was over.  Fortunately for me, the event wasn't over!  Rick and the kids needed to wish the EPL a happy birthday for the cameras.  So I wormed my way to a prime photo/video taking spot, which wasn't hard to do because I'm pretty sure there were a total of 4 of us there who even had a hot clue who this guy was.  So I got a great video of Jimmy and Rick Mercer (and some other random kids but who cares about them!).  The opening act came back out to read another story and I took this as my opportunity to stalk RICK MERCER!!!  I kind of hung around like a fool waiting for an opportunity to say something when he was dragged away for a photo op.  "Should we find some kids?" "Yeah..."  Did that sound as creepy in real life as it did in your head just now?? Yep.  It sure did!  So I hovered closer and closer to the toy sailboat that RICK MERCER was sitting in and then I did it.  I said, "Hi Rick.  I'm a big fan and I was wondering if you would take a picture with me?"  And he said yes!  He didn't look up from his phone as he said it but he did say yes.  So I asked a lady to take the picture and I crouched down next to the boat and RICK MERCER stopped texting long enough to smile for the broken iPhone and then I said thank you and I ... RAN AWAY.  Always the epitome of grace and class, I am!  Oh I also may have said, "Sorry, I know you're busy texting!"  Ugh.  Better planning ahead of time might've saved me from this.  Although ahead of time all I could think of was that I really was more of a fan of his when he was on 22 minutes...in the 90s...when I was a child.  After I posted the pic to FB, I realized story time with the opening act was over and I had to find Jimmy.  Wouldn't that have been a story to tell??  I lost Jimmy downtown today but I had my picture taken with RICK MERCER!! It's ok, we found him at a bus stop with some hobos but I have a picture of him standing very close to RICK MERCER!!

Me & Rick Mercer & a child-sized sailboat

It never would've happened if I'd been at the mall....