If I had been at the mall... I wouldn't have found the best mocha in the city!

On the same day that  I realized I was travelling with a 6 year old wing man, I discovered a few new businesses on the 4th Street Promenade, aka 104th Street, north of Jasper Avenue.  This is a cute part of downtown mostly containing places to eat and drink, including Blue Plate Diner (yummmm...).  It is also the area where the Downtown Farmer's Market is held on Saturdays.  I wanted to check out Carbon Environmental Boutique, which I had read about on the Alberta Boostr website.  Carbon is a local small business that provides consumers with safe and environmentally friendly products from cosmetics and hygiene products to mattresses to toys to cookware.  I personally go back and forth on using "safe" products and filling my body with chemicals but i have a few friends who are very dedicated to limiting their exposure to potentially harmful products so I wanted to check it out.  Given that I was there with Jimmy, I couldn't spend too much time browsing but I did have a good look around and they really do carry everything you could possibly imagine.  You are limited, obviously, to only a few brands but there is a huge variety in the types of items you can find here.  I bought a shave gel from Alba Botanicals, which is a brand I was already familiar with, and I felt like it was priced comparatively to what I would have paid for the same thing at Planet Organic (around $8).  Obviously you're not going to find $0.99 Barbasol here!    The guy working the day I was there wasn't particularly helpful or friendly but I also didn't seek out help so I'm not going to judge him too harshly on his customer service.  I didn't see anything that really caught my eye or got my attention in a "I hadn't considered that before!" kind of way.  Most of the products that they sell, I already get other places.  However, if you're looking for something specific that you can't readily find in your usual haunts, I bet Carbon's got it. I would especially recommend it if you are a parent looking for baby/kids items.  

Just a few doors down from Carbon, I found my new coffee love, Credo.  I'm doing this silly thing where I'm trying to limit my sugar and cut out processed sugar completely so I now have to be a little more selective about what I have added to my latte.  So I had to ask my awkward question of "Um, is the chocolate in your mocha syrup dark chocolate and do you add any extra sugar to the drink?" And the lovely Credo girl said, "no, we actually melt dark chocolate and add it to the milk."  Well, HELL-O!  That is so much better than what I was willing to settle for!  Not only did Credo's coffee turn out to be delicious but it's also Direct Trade, which, according to their website, has much stricter requirements than regular fair trade.  Purchasing ethical products is something I am trying to be more conscious of, particularly after some of my traveling adventures in the developing world.  While I am not always successful at it, I do try to shop ethically when I can and I love it when I find somewhere that I can support that also believes in ensuring that our luxuries aren't coming at the expense of someone else's suffering.  Check out Credo's website for more information about their coffee and where it comes from and definitely go support this fantastic local cafe!

Learning about the meaning of Direct Trade never would have happened if I had been at the mall!

If I had been at the mall.... I wouldn't have made my practice face debut!

Last week  I had the privilege of offering up my face for the make up artistry students at Cosmopolitan Makeup Artistry College.  Now, they use the term "model" but I really prefer "practice face."  I think it is more descriptive and accurate of what I brought to the table.  Friends, let me tell you, being a practice face is a LOT of fun.  And the only requirements, really, are that you are able to sit still (how'd I get this gig??) and that you have a face.  On the first day, I was with the outrageous and hilarious Emily, who created this fantasy themed look.  I wish I could wear sparkly jewels on my face everyday!

Notice the wolves wanted to be part of the fun!

Possibly my favourite part of all this was the photo shoot.  I promise you there is nothing that will ever make you feel more glamorous than having your picture taken under soft lightening and then having everyone tell you how awesome they turned out.  The wolves loved it, too.  

My second day was special effects day and I practice faced for Shannon, who was a total sweetheart  and super enthusiastic about creating an awesome zombie creature out of me.  She did an awesome job, in my opinion!! 
  

Look at those nasty teeth!

Yes, that's a finger in my mouth!

After almost five hours of prep, we went outside to do the photo shoot.  Now, I'm no actress and I'm really not that familiar with how zombies act, other than what I learned from many hours of Plants vs. Zombies so I really don't know how I did portraying the gory monster.  I haven't seen the real photos yet but I'm hoping they turned out well enough for Shannon's portfolio!  One of the shots the girls wanted was of me, chasing after the High Level Bridge Streetcar full of senior citizens and small children.  I'm sure I was very popular with parents at bedtime that night!

Do I look shorter as a zombie??  I feel like I look shorter....

Yep.  That happened.  But it never would've happened at the mall!

P.S.  Thanks Gaylynne for giving me the opportunity to share my mad practice face skillz with your students!!

Random Tip for the Blind #77

Random Tip for the Blind #77:  When purchasing something from iTunes, make the effort to zoom in and check that you are ordering what you actually intended to order or you might end up with something MORE embarrassing than the embarrassing thing you were downloading int he first place!

So now I'm going to have to admit to the world that I did something I'd rather not admit to the world... I paid for 50 Shades of Grey.  And I read it.  And it is now tied with The DaVinci Code for most poorly written work of fiction I have ever wasted my time with.  Actually, I'm going to put it right out there and say that it was actually worse than TDC because as far as I can remember, Dan Brown didn't explain what the big words meant after he used them.  Although, you'd be hard pressed to actually find any big words in TDC...so, yeah, no, they're still tied.  

Anyway, when I originally looked for it to download, I didn't really know what I was looking for or who the author was.  So I found what I thought was the book, read the first two pages, texted a friend and asked if the story took place on an airplane, found out it doesn't, thought to myself, "that's odd," and went in search of the correct version.  Found it. Read it (skipping over large chunks because I couldn't take the insipid whining of the inner goddess). Tried not to alienate everyone I know who loved it.  (P.S. I hope you girls still love me after this!!).  And moved on.  

Fast forward to this summer when discussing books with Diana.  She asked what I could recommend so I took a look at my ebookshelf to refresh my memory.  Steinbeck, Tina Fey and...  What's this?  Fifty Shades of... Gay??  Well THAT explains those first two pages I read a few years ago!  According to Amazon "Sexy Alpha Jude Kinsalle is used to all types of men hiring him for his services, but his last client, conservative real estate tycoon Mark Benton is his most memorable. When Mark is murdered after his liaison with Jude, hot cop Logan Vellachecco pegs Jude a suspect and Jude cannot use his charm and sensuality to sway Logan’s investigation...despite their passionate encounter. With clients cancelling en masse and Jude’s charmed life threatened, Jude recruits the only two people he trusts to prove his innocence. Follow Jude, his hot Latina maid Rosie and his flamboyant friend James from Manhattan to Chicago where they wield their inept sleuthing skills, penchant for partying and naked blackmail to clear Jude’s name."  Seriously.  How awesome is this??  I kind of want to read this now, as I have a feeling it is going to be WAY better than it's namesake and totally entertaining.  What the original 50 Shades needed, I think, was a Hot Cop and a Sassy Maid.  And who doesn't love a Flamboyant Friend character??  It's like The Hardy Boys grew up and came out!  I mean, really, who didn't think Frank was gay?  it's not so far-fetched.  Callie Shaw?  What kind of a name is that??  The name of a beard, I'd say!  And blond, good-looking beefcake best friend CHET Morton??  Oooh, and remember when they would team up for those Super Mysteries with Nancy Drew and her gang and she had that drag queen girlfriend, George?  I mean, it all makes so much sense now!  

Amazon also very considerately gives an explicit content warning at the end of this blurb (because you might not have gotten that from the description), informing us that this book contains "HOT" explicit content.  Good to know.  I probably won't read it now because lukewarm explicit content is one thing but if it's hot it will probably really offend me.  

The other less hilarious but equally as disturbing accidental purchase I made was after writing a little school-related parody of the genius  Sometimes When We Touch.  You know... Sometimes when we touch/The honesty's too much/And I have to close my eyes aaaa-yee-aand hide.  My punishment for this bit of mockery was that the original gem was stuck in my head for DAYS.  To combat this, I thought downloading the song and actually listening to it might cure me.  Fast forward to last week, listening to music on the bus and repeatedly coming across really terrible, ballad-y 80s songs and skipping them.  They all had the same album cover so I finally zoomed in and looked to see who the artist was.  Dan Hill... who the hell is that??  And how did his album end up on my iPod?  Dan Hill... Dan Hill... Dan... OHMYGOSH.  I must have downloaded an entire Sometimes When We Touch album.  Yeesh.  I wonder how much I paid for that??  iTunes is going to have the best profile of me.  They probably think I'm a fifty year old gay man  and I'm going to start getting targeted ads for... whatever it is they market to that demographic!