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Saturday 27 July 2013

If I had been at the mall.... I never would have realized what a bastard Sephora is!

Ooooooooh....  Sephora.  You. Are. THE DEVIL.  



I found this evil genius in my email yesterday.  How am I supposed to resist the offer of VIB Roooooouge status (for those of you that know me in real life, you realize we're going to be pronouncing it this way, right?)??  And a free, limited edition lipstick??  Come. ON!  It's like they know I've been away and they are trying to lure me back in.  Well, ok, I know that in reality everybody who spends a small fortune at Sephora probably got this but really, this is terrible, terrible timing.  Do you hear me Sephora??  TERRIBLE TIMING.  

Maybe I need to look at this another way.  Maybe I need to look at this like it's a controlling boyfriend trying to woo me back with hollow promises.  Sephora is trying to squash my new, independent lifestyle, with all my new, local loves.  It's jealous.  And a little drunk.  It's making crazy accusations about me and Lux sneaking around behind it's back.  It's not a secret, you douchebag!  I've been BLOGGING about my new experiences, for crying out loud!  I'm not hiding anything!  I'm just branching out and trying new things.  You know, maybe if you're going to get all insane and act this way we need to reconsider our relationship.  You can't just come over here, with your apologies and roooooouge status and think for a second that I'm just going to ditch my new friends and spend all my time exclusively with you.  Even if I happen to come back to the mall, there's still MAC.  And Shopper's.  I love you but you have to learn to share me!  Ugh, I can't do this anymore.  My friends are right about you.  I think we need a break.  Don't call me.  *Door slams*


I need a drink.


And this little bit of drama, ladies and gentlemen, would never have happened if I had been at the mall....

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